(to the tune of Jingle Bells)
(new words by Prof. Fred Hopkins)
Monster bells, Monster bells
Piercing through the night!
Igor’s having so much fun,
Giving everyone a fright!
Monster bells, Monster bells,
I think we’d better stop.
The Wolfman’s shedding all over the place,
And Dracula just bit a cop!
Bridge:
Riding with the monsters,
No one’s getting cold.
The mummy’s getting tired,
But he is 3,000 years old!
Frankenstein’s monster’s feeling grand
He’s got a bride with lots of vim.
But we can’t find The Invisible Man,
‘Cause no one can see him!
Repeat Verses 1 & 2
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
BABY TAKE A A BOW!
Shirley Temple’s starring “debut” is pretty good, but it’s in the same bag as Elvis’ first movie. BOTH ELVIS AND SHIRLEY were the names above the titles in their first starring movies, but neither has much more than a bit part in either film.
Elvis has little to do other than warble Love Me Tender and a few other extremely moderate rockabilly tunes and one cool gospel (“We’re Gonna Move!”) and is a ghost for the second half of the film.
Shirley basically just runs around and mouths a few lines and looks cute and pouts while James Dunn and Thelma what’s-her-name do all the work and are in most of the scenes. It’s basically a ‘30s crime drama, w/Shirley thrown in almost as an afterthought.
Plot has James Dunn as an ex-con who has made good after his stretch at Sing Sing. He’s married his long-time sweetheart and they now have a beautiful daughter, Shirley Temple. Trouble is Dunn’s a chauffer for a rich guy whose wife’s pearl’s get robbed and a hostile, frumpy, pompous, colicky old insurance investigator with extremely bad breath wants to pin the crime on him. Dunn and Shirley sing and hoof their way through a few uplifiting songs, but basically this is a pretty straight and somewhat grim depression-era crime film about the difficulties of going straight after paying your debt to society. It’s definitely not Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm!
None the less, it’s a wonderful film, though it lacks the Shirley Temple formula/trademark scenes of all of her subsequent pictures (no speech by Shirley to her downtrodden mom; adopted mom; father; stepfather; benefactor; grandmother; grandfather; etc. about how she/he should put a smile on ‘cuz things are gonna get better!).
Baby also contains some pretty disturbing scenes with the bad ex-con “Shooter” abducting Temple and using her as a human shield while the cops are shooting at him—not exactly a trip on the good ship, Lollipop. Very fast-paced socially-conscious drama which probably doesn’t deliver to later generation Shirley Temple fans, but everybody has to start somewhere.
Elvis has little to do other than warble Love Me Tender and a few other extremely moderate rockabilly tunes and one cool gospel (“We’re Gonna Move!”) and is a ghost for the second half of the film.
Shirley basically just runs around and mouths a few lines and looks cute and pouts while James Dunn and Thelma what’s-her-name do all the work and are in most of the scenes. It’s basically a ‘30s crime drama, w/Shirley thrown in almost as an afterthought.
Plot has James Dunn as an ex-con who has made good after his stretch at Sing Sing. He’s married his long-time sweetheart and they now have a beautiful daughter, Shirley Temple. Trouble is Dunn’s a chauffer for a rich guy whose wife’s pearl’s get robbed and a hostile, frumpy, pompous, colicky old insurance investigator with extremely bad breath wants to pin the crime on him. Dunn and Shirley sing and hoof their way through a few uplifiting songs, but basically this is a pretty straight and somewhat grim depression-era crime film about the difficulties of going straight after paying your debt to society. It’s definitely not Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm!
None the less, it’s a wonderful film, though it lacks the Shirley Temple formula/trademark scenes of all of her subsequent pictures (no speech by Shirley to her downtrodden mom; adopted mom; father; stepfather; benefactor; grandmother; grandfather; etc. about how she/he should put a smile on ‘cuz things are gonna get better!).
Baby also contains some pretty disturbing scenes with the bad ex-con “Shooter” abducting Temple and using her as a human shield while the cops are shooting at him—not exactly a trip on the good ship, Lollipop. Very fast-paced socially-conscious drama which probably doesn’t deliver to later generation Shirley Temple fans, but everybody has to start somewhere.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
THE TELL-TALE HEART (1960)
Star: Adrienne Cori; Laurence Payne
Written by Brian “The Avengers” Clemens
Absolutely superb British re-telling of this oft-filmed Poe classic. The histrionics and acting is at “11” on a scale of “1-10” from beginning to the very end. Every grimace, every look in this film is turgid and constipated. We’re talking major face-stretching here---world class gurners got nothin’ on this cast!
Laurence Payne plays the protagonist, a 19th Century librarian, whose dream-date girlfriend falls for his “cad” best friend. Laurence is also a 19th century peeper, getting into staring through the blinds at his lady, who lives across this itty-bitty street. And that’s bad news for her when the hanky-panky starts, following a “late date” with the cad after she’s already said “Goodnight” to Mr. Peepers.
Nowadays, Laurence would have just shrugged his shoulders and called a “1-800” number, but they didn’t exist back then, so he summons the cad to his house and slaps a can of whoop-#%@ on his head and….well, you know the rest.
The saving grace of this film, is that, despite the overacting (which often reaches epic proportions), Tell-Tale Heart is so skillfully directed that it just keeps rolling along (like Old Man River) and you literally cannot walk away from it—it’s way too much fun!
Written by Brian “The Avengers” Clemens
Absolutely superb British re-telling of this oft-filmed Poe classic. The histrionics and acting is at “11” on a scale of “1-10” from beginning to the very end. Every grimace, every look in this film is turgid and constipated. We’re talking major face-stretching here---world class gurners got nothin’ on this cast!
Laurence Payne plays the protagonist, a 19th Century librarian, whose dream-date girlfriend falls for his “cad” best friend. Laurence is also a 19th century peeper, getting into staring through the blinds at his lady, who lives across this itty-bitty street. And that’s bad news for her when the hanky-panky starts, following a “late date” with the cad after she’s already said “Goodnight” to Mr. Peepers.
Nowadays, Laurence would have just shrugged his shoulders and called a “1-800” number, but they didn’t exist back then, so he summons the cad to his house and slaps a can of whoop-#%@ on his head and….well, you know the rest.
The saving grace of this film, is that, despite the overacting (which often reaches epic proportions), Tell-Tale Heart is so skillfully directed that it just keeps rolling along (like Old Man River) and you literally cannot walk away from it—it’s way too much fun!
Monday, December 3, 2007
FOUR RODE OUT! (1968)
Star: Sue Lyon; Pernell Roberts;
Leslie Nielsen
Spain/USA Co-Production
Music by Janis Ian (“The Singer”)
An indecisive, worn-out, dispirited U.S. Marshall (Pernell Roberts) slogs into a sleepy bordertown searching for a young Mexican bankrobber, who may have killed a bank guard. He interviews the desperado’s girlfriend (Sue Lyon), who hurls abuse at him, and then meets up with a sleazy, condescending Pinkerton agent (Leslie Nielsen), who further insults and verbally humiliates him. But wait, there’s more!
Despite the fact that Nielsen directly tells Roberts that he’s going to interfere—in every possible way--with his attempt to capture the robber and bring him to trial---Pernell lets him ride along with him anyway! Further, after telling the girlfriend that he won’t take her along, Roberts welcomes Sue Lyon when she rides out-in violation of his orders—in a sexy lady caballero outfit and joins the posse as well. Is anyone listening to Pernell? Anyone at all?
This all takes place in the first 15 minutes. The remainder of the film is a solid 85 minutes of bickering, back-biting, name calling, taunting, demeaning, and mean-spiritedness between the Marshall, the Pinkerton Man, Sue Lyon, and her Mexican fiancé (who also, unwillingly, joins up with them) while they’re all dying of thirst in the middle of the desert. And that’s even before most of the shooting starts!
This “modern” western is based more on Camus and Sartre than Sergio Leone, and what’s most surprising is that the whole thing actually works! With a soundtrack propelled by the mournful and minor-key acoustic guitar strumming of Janis Ian (who was then riding high on her hit “Society’s Child”), “Four Rode Out” actually is a pretty decent cinematic sojourn!
Sue Lyon looks pretty and does a good job of conveying the angst of a bad girl trying to find value and love in her life, even though her bank robbing boyfriend isn’t really worth the trouble; and Leslie Nielsen is delightfully over-the-top as the villainous, lecherous, and sleazy Pinkerton agent, who may or may not be whom he claims to be. Pernell Roberts, fresh out of Bonanza, is really working his role and gives a solid, if somewhat TV-like, portrayal.
And though “4 Rode Out” certainly mines the same territory as Monte Hellman’s earlier “The Shooting” and “Ride The Whirlwind,” it’s more fleshed out (by beautiful Western cinematography---of Almeira, Spain) and substantial and its bigger budget pays off. If you want to take this “ride,” it will only cost a dollar (it’s a DVD double-feature, on Digiview, with “Boot Hill”), and you can’t even buy a 16 ounce Pepsi for that!
Leslie Nielsen
Spain/USA Co-Production
Music by Janis Ian (“The Singer”)
An indecisive, worn-out, dispirited U.S. Marshall (Pernell Roberts) slogs into a sleepy bordertown searching for a young Mexican bankrobber, who may have killed a bank guard. He interviews the desperado’s girlfriend (Sue Lyon), who hurls abuse at him, and then meets up with a sleazy, condescending Pinkerton agent (Leslie Nielsen), who further insults and verbally humiliates him. But wait, there’s more!
Despite the fact that Nielsen directly tells Roberts that he’s going to interfere—in every possible way--with his attempt to capture the robber and bring him to trial---Pernell lets him ride along with him anyway! Further, after telling the girlfriend that he won’t take her along, Roberts welcomes Sue Lyon when she rides out-in violation of his orders—in a sexy lady caballero outfit and joins the posse as well. Is anyone listening to Pernell? Anyone at all?
This all takes place in the first 15 minutes. The remainder of the film is a solid 85 minutes of bickering, back-biting, name calling, taunting, demeaning, and mean-spiritedness between the Marshall, the Pinkerton Man, Sue Lyon, and her Mexican fiancé (who also, unwillingly, joins up with them) while they’re all dying of thirst in the middle of the desert. And that’s even before most of the shooting starts!
This “modern” western is based more on Camus and Sartre than Sergio Leone, and what’s most surprising is that the whole thing actually works! With a soundtrack propelled by the mournful and minor-key acoustic guitar strumming of Janis Ian (who was then riding high on her hit “Society’s Child”), “Four Rode Out” actually is a pretty decent cinematic sojourn!
Sue Lyon looks pretty and does a good job of conveying the angst of a bad girl trying to find value and love in her life, even though her bank robbing boyfriend isn’t really worth the trouble; and Leslie Nielsen is delightfully over-the-top as the villainous, lecherous, and sleazy Pinkerton agent, who may or may not be whom he claims to be. Pernell Roberts, fresh out of Bonanza, is really working his role and gives a solid, if somewhat TV-like, portrayal.
And though “4 Rode Out” certainly mines the same territory as Monte Hellman’s earlier “The Shooting” and “Ride The Whirlwind,” it’s more fleshed out (by beautiful Western cinematography---of Almeira, Spain) and substantial and its bigger budget pays off. If you want to take this “ride,” it will only cost a dollar (it’s a DVD double-feature, on Digiview, with “Boot Hill”), and you can’t even buy a 16 ounce Pepsi for that!
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